Misery of Life
by Kags Innakita
Summary: Something has happened...somthing noone could control..something that left kagomes life in shambles. will everything turn out alright in the end? IY+Kag (R for suiside attempts+violance and later chapters)


Kags: Well I wasn't in the best mood when I wrote this was I?  
  
Sango: what are you talking about I think its great!!   
  
Kags: *sweatdrops* come on sango-chan I..oh nevermind..youll have to read it to find out  
  
Sango: mouu kags-chan your story is so sad...but still very good  
  
Kags: I know I know but It will get better I promise ok?  
  
Sango: ok..if you say so  
  
Shippou: *bounces up holding a sign that says 'kags does not own Inu-yasha' *  
  
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This is a story writen when my friend and I were having some problems..  
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Chapter 1  
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A Saddening Recall  
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Kagome sadly sat on her bed staring blankly at the wooden floor beneath her feet. Horrible memories filled her head as crystal clear tears slowly made their way down her face.   
  
"its my fault...its all my fault" she repeated over and over again putting her head in her lap as she sobbed, her tears soaking the green uniform skirt she had her face against as her raven hair began to stick to the sides of her faces from the moisture.  
  
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(flashback)  
  
"Sango-chan....SANGO-CHAN!" Kagome sat hunched over a body, a woman with long black hair and a youkai taijiya uniform on..all around her was a puddle of blood. It soaked the young woman's cloths and hair it, slowly made its way down the woman's face as she looked up at the raven-haired miko and smiled   
  
"Kagome-chan I don't regret it..you're my best friend. What else could I ask for" she stopped as she coughed up more blood "you mean a lot to me and you've shown me that not all youkai are bad as well....ill really miss you" she smiled up at her "take care of kirara please..." her smile slowly faded as she shut her eyes never to open them again.   
  
"SANGO-CHAN!!" she screamed clutching the woman's head to her chest. "no...on don't leave me! I cant bear to be without you!" she sobbed, her tears falling onto the now dead woman's face "please! I need you you're my best friend! SANGOOOOO!"  
  
She didn't move nor did she answer, the miko was overcome and dropped the woman backing away, her eyes wide. She screamed out and began to sob as the turned and ran tears streaming from her eyes.   
  
Inu-yasha watched as she ran by wondering what she could be so upset about "k-kagome?" he uttered softly as she watched her run by. He sniffed the air and smelled it...the salty tears the smell of fear and...s-Sango blood?! He looked around suddenly panicked; he looked wildly around. His silvery hair blowing in the night air, he slowly saw kiraras form appear...carrying the mangled body of the youkai taijiya. "oh kami...what's happened?" he looked to kagome as she continued to run, not bothering to stop until she reached the sankity of the well. Fear and pain were welling up in her heart now, she had lost her best friend what did she have now?   
  
(end flashback)  
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Kagome fell backwards, clutching her fluffy pillow to her as if it was the only think keeping her from death. As she looked up the first thing that caught her eye was the gleam of the razor she had been using to finish her latest project for school, leaning over the side of her bed she took it, grasping the handle firmly in her hand as she studied it.   
  
She put the cold metal to her flesh she squeezed her eyes shut. 'it was my fault Sango died..my fault..' she continued to repeat in her head as she pulled her arm back swiftly. Blood started to slowly drip down onto her bed sheets as she continued what she was doing "my fault my fault my fault" she uttered as it gradually became louder.  
  
"MY FAULT!" she screamed digging the razor deeply into her arm, blood spilled onto her sheets and her cloths. She looked at it fascinated with the way it looked, if Sango couldn't be there to ease her mind shed find her own ways to find her way back to Sango.   
  
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Inu-yasha jumped out of the well just as he normally did. Although now he was extremely worried about kagome, in one arm was Sango's mask and perched on his shoulder was kirara (k:// don't ask how kirara got there...how knows she could have been able to go though the hole time I mean you never really see her try do you?) As he got closer to the house he sniffed at the air 'Kagome's blood? No it's not possible...she wouldn't do anything stupid...would she?'   
  
As he became more panicked he raced towards the shrine and bounded up to Kagome's window which was open. he looked in smelling the blood more strongly and his ears lowered as his eyes sunk into his head "k-kagome...." There she was with a razor in her hands, blood pouring onto her and she was merely staring at it this enraged the hanyou. How could she do such a thing! That stupid woman all she did was cause him problems.   
  
His eyes softened as he continued to stare at her, she had gone through so much pain. She once had told him of her father and how he left her telling her mother that 'as far as I'm concerned you can have her' of course she was very young at the time but her mother had told her the stories. He hated to see her cry, to see her suffer...she didn't deserve it. Shaking his head he came flying back into reality as he again watched kagome slice into her arm with a shrill cry of pain and pleasure.   
  
Not being able to stand the sight anymore he jumped into the window and snatched the blood covered object from her. "KAGOME GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU STUPID BITCH!" she looked up at him and kirara jumped into her arms, curling up immediately in her lap as if seeking refuge from the world. Her eyes made their way slowly down to the youkai as blood dripped onto her silky cream fur and she shivered in Kagome's lap.   
  
Her eyes then fell apon the hanyou, the blood from the razor now dripping onto his fingers as he grasped it firmly showing her he would not let her have it back in the other hand he held the mask...Sango's mask. He knowticed where her gaze had landed and his eyes softened once again "we buried her you know...she's under Goushin boku" he said softly feeling badly for yelling at her. She remained silent and he sat next to her ripping off part of his kimono.   
  
"give me your arm.." not even turning her gaze she gave him her arm and he began to lick it gently before wrapping the red cloth around it. She looked up at him with wonder in her eyes "KEH I'm just making shure it doesn't get infected...inu youkai have certain things in their salvia that help the healing process...so don't get any ideas." She only stayed silent, her eyes full of tears and pain he looked at her and sighed as kiraras body rose up and down slowly signaling she was asleep.   
  
"Kagome how could you do this to yourself? Do you really think it would solve anything" she looked down as she again began to cry. He looked at her with a sort of sympathy "please don't cry...I'm shure Sango's fine wherever she went" raising a hand she slapped him across the face "y-you bastard..you don't know what its like to feel the pain I feel...ITS MY FAULT SHES DEAD" she stood up picking kirara up and cradling her in her arms as she ran out her door slamming it behind her.   
  
My fault' the words echoed over and over in his mind 'how could it be Kagome's fault shed never do anything to hurt sango..they were best friends' it boggled his mind how she could have done anything wrong to hurt Sango. "keh she's overreacting as normal..Stupid girl" he tried to keep up his tough appearance but deep inside he was afraid, more afraid then he ever had been. The smell of blood still lingered in Kagome's room causing him to cringe. "how..could she?"  
  
  
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*sweatdrops* I know its really depressing but it will get better I promise! My friends already proofing the chapter and she says its going good. *smiles* yatta yatta yatta! Well please review! The more reviews I get the faster YOU get the next chapter! And all reviews are welcomed! Tell me what you think  
~Kags Higurashi~ 


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